Sunday, December 16, 2012
Dec. 16
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/09/opinion/sunday/dowd-a-lost-civilization.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss&_r=0
One of my favorite lines in this piece is right at the very end. "But history will no doubt record that withering Republicans were finally wiped from the earth in 2016 when the relentless (and rested) Conquistadora Hillary marched in, General Bill on a horse behind her, and finished them off." It's very amusing the way that MAUREEN DOWD relates the fall of ancient civilizations to the GOP. Not subtle in the least but still funny. And the imagery with "Someday, it will be the subject of a National Geographic special, or a Mel Gibson movie, where archaeologists piece together who the lost tribe was, where it came from, and what happened to it." is hilarious. You can imagine people sitting in their hover chairs watching this on floating screens with wonder of these people. Details such as the opening, with the daughter describing eating corn like the Aztecs, really ties the whole piece together.
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Anna, you chose a great article that provides you with many leads for your close reading, however you don't take advantage of this. You should begin your essay with an introductory paragraph to enlighten your audience before you jump right in. After you introduce your topic, then you can include your favorite quotes. Your essay is also lacking structure. It's important to have a well organized essay so your reader can follow along easily. Separate your ideas into different paragraphs; include a topic sentence, a claim, and support. Also make sure you include how the use of the author's techniques effect the audience. By doing this, it will show that you understood the reaction the author was intending.
ReplyDeleteOne last thing to convenience your readers, paste the link so it is active.
I agree with Nicci in that your essay really does need structure. Also, you only have 2 out of the 3 DIDLS required. After reading the article, I found some good examples of diction in the article that you could use. I found words such as "arrogant" "uptight" and "bossy" in one sentence that you could possibly analyze. Adding a few more quotes and explaining them as well as analyzing them further would definitely add more meat to it. Other than that, good start :)
ReplyDeleteHi Anna! I agree with all of the points brought out in Nicci and Caitlyn's responses. You have a really good start but you really need to elaborate more. Also, you have a huge quote at the beginning of your paragraph. As a reader it causes me to loose my attention and wonder what you are going for. I really like your tone throughout your piece and i think if you coul maintain that while you elaborate at the same time you will be golden!
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